Codenames and Family

Ginger is a bloodthirsty beast possessed by an evil streak. She relishes squirming out of our hands and tearing chunks of flesh out of anyone she can touch. Best of all she prefers to be set down and powered off before choosing the best moment to start up of her own accord and take off in search of her preferred fare- quivering flesh! Once aroused, her whirling blade whips her wildly about and if she bites into an inanimate object she rips into it to gain impetus before veering off again in search of a fleshy victim. The last time she took off in search of a fresh blood sacrifice she bounded onto the wooden deck where she took a jagged bite out of the freshly laid hardwood deck before leaping upward and sideways to savage our bare feet and shins. She screeched with glee as we performed an impromptu and unorthodox Zulu war dance, leaping and squealing like can-can girls as we frantically hopped and skipped to avoid her snapping, ripping teeth. By the time we managed to catch her by her power cord tail to get her under control the deck was littered with our shredded flesh and bloodied wood splinters. Our favourite disk sander earned her name from the fact that we soon learned to handle her “gingerly” and even fitted her with a special plug to ensure she was severed from the mains power whenever she was laid down – so ensuring that she remained a docile disk sander -until we get careless again.

Hannibal was purchased to enable us to manhandle a heavy cast iron bath out of a bathroom we were renovating. He was so useful and strong that he became a member of the family once he earned his name. He is bright red and sturdy, with two solid black rubber wheels. Hannibal earned his name after we used him to convey our friend Hilary to her fiancées bachelor party hidden inside a large cardboard box! Inside the carton, Hilary was disguised as a stripper- complete with wig and cheap perfume as she was wheeled into the room. The upcoming wedding was to be the second time around for both Ed and Hilary. They each had grown up children that had long left the nest. Dianne and I had introduced them to each other two years previously and watched them fall in love and court each other like two teenagers. Ed had reluctantly agreed to a bachelor party to appease his male friends and tried hard to hide his chagrin when we announced midway through the evening that there was to be a stripper, dimmed the lights, blindfolded him and bound him to a chair in the centre of the room surrounded by his excited and tipsy friends. His embarrassment grew as Hilary, relishing the fantasy hidden behind a wig and carnival mask, succeeded in fooling and titillating even their close mutual friends before she revealed herself to the relieved Ed. As for her transporters name – who could imagine any better name for a trolley after witnessing a strait jacketed Dr Lechter strapped to one in the blockbuster movie Hannibal.

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About seashoes

I am Lawrence Huntingdon-Rusch, writing as Don Darkes. This choice of pseudonym is due to the fact that I am also writing a Biographical memoir provisionally titled, Darkest Africa My Life of Crime, the life story of an incredible man, Don Darkes, who was given this identity, at birth, in order to keep a secret and the fact that like him, my given name is also an accident of birth concealing my true heritage. I am fifty-something and have been ecstatically married for over three decades to my incredible wife Anne who bore me three miracle children. After repudiating my Psychology degree in the mid-seventies I served my mandatory National Military Service in a clandestine, top-secret unit stationed in (then) Rhodesia -for which I received a medal. (The subject of a novel in progress) During the eighties, at the height of apartheid, together with (then illegal) “black” partners I built a successful manufacturing company which I sold to buy the yacht upon which I was shipwrecked together with my wife Dianne, our five year old son Bill and four year old daughter Morgan. After returning destitute to South Africa I rode a ripple in the dot.com wave and cashed in my Internet start-up in order to distribute rare organic chocolate and to research a challenging historical novel, The Madagascar Plan, which explores an intriguing link between the Jewish Holocaust and Madagascar. Currently, together with my wife, son and two daughters we reside high off the ground amongst the branches of a Casuarina tree as the family works together to build another yacht whilst I also work on several books that have as a common denominator, my love of history and my belief that fact is stranger and far more interesting than fiction.
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One Response to Codenames and Family

  1. Pingback: A Long Walk to Wee-Some « Second Time Lucky

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